Saturday, July 27, 2013

3 years ago...

Today is July 27th. Today is the day that 3 years ago we finished packing up, we turned on a chandelier in an empty nursery in hopes that when we returned, we would bring a baby home. We left our home that day for an unknown amount of time. We moved to Dallas until we would bring our baby home or say good bye. We left with heavy hearts and tears. We left with hope and anticipation. I remember telling Jon that day, that when we came home again, however long it would be, our lives would be forever changed regardless of the outcome of Ella's surgeries. You see, we would either come home with a baby girl who had just gone through open heart surgery and had many special needs or we would come home with completely broken hearts to a quiet home and empty nursery that would never hold our baby. I was so sick and riding in the car was torture. I cried everyday most of my pregnancy, but as the end approached the tears seemed heavier and the joy of meeting her seemed greater. Such a strange mix of emotions. I prayed so so so hard for her life to be spared, I prayed for the chance just to look into her eyes and to tell her that I loved her.

Today, 3 years later, not only do we have a miracle sleeping in that very nursery right now, but I get to look into my two color eyed girl everyday and tell her that I love her, and I get the privilege of hearing her say that she loves me too. That chandelier still lights her room but pails in comparison to the light that shines from our baby girl's sweet spirit. As we made the drive to Dallas yesterday for Ella's post Fontan check up number 2, I couldn't help but reminisce of that drive 3 years ago, the fear that I was feeling. We got a great report at her appointment, Ella is doing amazing, and as we drove through the cloudiness yesterday we came to a spot where the sun was shining through. I pointed the sunshine out to Ella and then she began to sing "You Are My Sunshine", as she sang she insisted that we "sing together" so the three of us sang the song that I sang to her nearly everyday of my pregnancy, (starting the day after we thought we were miscarrying her) and I wished I had been able to see this moment three years ago. I wished I could have known how amazing and beautiful my baby girl would be.

Today, as I reflect on what I was doing 3 years ago, and what I am doing today, I have tears because my heart is so full. Thank you Lord for giving us this amazing blessing!

Last pic at home!

Pictures from ultrasound once we arrived in Dallas... She was being shy :)

My beautiful Girl yesterday! What a difference 3 years makes!

Ella's appointment was great! We got to drop one of her diuretics completely, she had decent sats and heart rate, blood pressure good, gained a pound (!!!!!!), NO tears, great x-rays, just a wonderful report! We go back in 7 weeks for another check up, please pray that all will go well, that the med change doesn't cause any complications, that she continues to gain weight and that her body continues to handle the Fontan circulation well. As we left the hospital Ella said "I am very brave!" it was so cute! She really was so brave, I have no doubt it was in part to your prayers for God to give her peace, so thank you so very much for praying for her! We are just so thankful for your support through this journey! God is so merciful!


  1. You wrote that beautifully. Hope you can relax some now that Ella had a good report. Great job, Ella. You were so brave!

  2. "I am very brave." How precious is that !!!! It is so good for her to have good non hurting appointments to ease her mind a little.

  3. Hi! My name is Sonja Starkey and I just wanted to share with you about how I came to know about Ella. My husband and I answered an ad your husband had placed on Craigslist for some ceiling fans. In the process of purchasing these your husband shared with us about his "little miracle" baby. He gave the URL to your BlogSpot and I started reading. In the meantime I saw on facebook where a friend had requested prayer for her little great-granddaughter who was getting ready to have surgery. The baby's name was Ella and Jon had told us she was going in for another surgery soon. In visiting with Pat Tuter I learned that she was talking about the same little Ella Dawn that I had come to know from your blogs. Anyway to make a short story long (lol) I found out that you are Rogers daughter. Your dad and my daughter graduated from McLoud High School together in 1984. Her name was Cari Ann Starkey Cox. We lost her to cancer in 2009 and now my heart always goes out to those who are battling health problems with their children regardless of their age. I think of you, Jon and little Ella and pray for a complete healing for her. Our God is an awesome God. (I hope I got all the familial connections correct.)


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