Tuesday, June 21, 2011

A big day is around the corner!

We just can't thank you all enough for following Ella's life and praying for her all this time! It's hard to believe Ella's first birthday is just around the corner, Aug. 9th 2011!! We are inviting YOU! Please RSVP in the comments, and make sure you are healthy the day of the party!!!! We would love to have you as part of this wonderful celebration! I want to say a VERY special thank you to Rita http://bellaballoon.com/  for the save the date you see above! More details to come later!!

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Happy Father's Day!

Happy Father's Day! Growing up father's Day was all about my daddy. Who he was, what he did for us, all the good times we've had! We would scramble around to spoil him extra on Father's Day. I like to think we spoiled him a bit all year with it being all girls in my family!  :) Truth be told he spoiled us a little too, well he spoiled me at least, after all I was the youngest! :) Love you Daddy! Father's Day has always been a special day, but somehow now it means even more! Being married to the man of my dreams, having the baby girl of my dreams, and watching them together... wow! Being a parent certainly makes me realize that before I was a parent, I really didn't understand just how much a parent loves.It is INDESCRIBABLE! I have to brag on Ella's big strong daddy here, it's so easy to do, and after all it is father's day! I remember when we were first getting to know each other, going on dates, talking, I wandered what kind of dad he would be someday. He talked tough,  I wanted him to be a "daddy" not just her "father". We talked about baby names (yes before we got married) I mentioned the name Ella and to my surprise he really liked it. We tried to come up with a boy name, but never really could. We knew the middle name would be David after my sweet hubby himself (Jonathan David) So we jokingly from then on when referring to future kid's we used the name Ella! Little did I know that on Dec. 8 2009 we would get the positive pregnancy test that would forever change our live's and would officially make Jon a daddy of a little girl named Ella! He was so excited as was I, he picked me up in his strong arms and ran around the house like a crazy man lol He was so cute! He is NOT the expressive over the top type of guy, so I was a little shocked at first :) But now I know the power of a little girl on her daddy and I know that was just the first of many more over the top actions from her daddy for her! When we thought we lost our sweet baby very early in the pregnancy, we wept together. He was strong for me, but I could see his heart breaking. He loved her deeply, instantly, she already had his heart. When I was in the hospital 3 times fighting for her life, he was there. He drove the nearly 2 hour round trip to work and back every night to sleep in a horrid stiff chair at my bedside. Jon literally carried me when I was too weak to walk, he held my hair when I threw up, he made my food and when I felt too sick and wanted to refuse (every meal), he lovingly yet firmly ;) forced me to continue to take another bite to save our unborn child's life. He was her advocate. For nine months he stood by my side doing far more then his share of the work, without him and his persistence Ella would not have been born on Aug. 9 2010 at 3:23pm weighing 7lbs. 4oz. 19 3/4 inches long. He came to EVERY single doctor appointment that I had throughout my pregnancy, He loved to hear her heartbeat! Once she entered this world, as much as I deeply wanted to care for her... they had to take her away. And even though I missed those precious first moments of firsts for her, he was by her side standing in where I could not. The moment she was born and we touched her hands, we knew we couldn't lose her. As the teams of surgeons rushed her away I remember Jon was going to be going with them to be with her. It was the first time he was leaving me to care for her, I was still in surgery and scared. I watched as a whirlwind of people took my baby away and Jon gave me a kiss told me that he loved me and he was gone.  He was a father, yes he was still my husband, but I wanted him to go, and  for the first time I wanted him to care for someone else. We understood our love for one another, it was time to share our love with another. He sat alone for 7 hours through her first surgery while I was in recovery. He stood by her bedside all night long. He came and checked on me when he could, but his heart was now part hers. I didn't mind because you see she had captured part of mine as well. She didn't steal our love from one another, she made it grow! Jon has gone above and beyond and is the definition of father! He gave her, her first kiss, her first bath, he showed her love! Ella has made Jon a father, but he has become a "daddy"! Watching the two of them together truly is the best site, the love between them is bubbling over. She light's up when she sees her hero, and his tough talk from before.... well let's just say she might just be a little spoiled from her daddy :) But that's okay, that's what daddy's are for! Jon is an amazing man, husband, father, friend. He is our HERO! We love you SO MUCH! Happy Father's Day!!!!!

                                                  My two favorite people in the whole world!

Thursday, June 2, 2011

10 Months (on June 9th) with our sweet sunshine!

Thankful... thankful is the word to describe how my heart is feeling. Humbled by His grace I sit here and write about the last 10 months. The 10 months we weren't supposed to have, the 10 months that have brought me more joy and more pain then I have ever felt in my whole life. Ella Dawn has forever changed me. I will NEVER be the same. She makes me love deeper, cherish the little moments more, and she makes me want to be a better person. Sometimes I wonder to myself if God really knew what He was doing when He made me Ella's momma, I wondered if I was really the best momma out there for her... surely not I thought to myself nearly every day. But I am convinced that she is the BEST daughter for me! Whether she was sent here for me to change her life, or for her to change mine I'm not sure, but I only hope that one day she will know how very much I love her. Some days this journey seems possible, I just feel like this is the path, okay let's do this. Other times it is heartbreakingly unbearable. Death is all around us in the heart world, and even though Ella is excelling she is always at risk, her heart is working twice as hard as all of ours. Sometimes when I look into my sweet sunshine's eyes my own eyes swell with tears as I thank the Lord for another day. This 10 months has had a lot of pain, but we have also had so many incredible moments. In the last 10 months Ella took her first breath, we touched her hands and saw her sweet face for the first time, we looked into each others eyes for the first time, Ella smiled for the first time, we held our baby for the first time, Ella learned to breath without oxygen, we took our baby home from the hospital, Ella took her first car ride, Ella slept in her crib, she wore her first outfit, she ate from a bottle, she ate baby food, she went to church for the first time, she was publicly dedicated to Jesus, she has for the most part continuously gained weight, Ella learned to roll over, she learned to sit up, she learned to stand, she learned to sleep through the night, she learned to blow a kiss, she learned how to dance, she learned how to say "Dadda" and "Momma", she learned how to say all done in sign language, she had her first bite of ice cream and sno cone, she has learned to eat a solid without throwing up, she has gone through 5 separate surgeries (3 open heart 2 cath) infection free, she had her first Thanksgiving Christmas New Years Valentines Day and Easter, she learned how to drink from a sippy cup,she learned how to feed herself with a spoon, she learned how to drink from a straw, she had her first week without a doctor visit, she had her first pigtails, she went "swimming" for the first time, she went on her first walk, she had her first picnic, she got her first two teeth, she had her first kisses and hugs, she heard "I love you" thousands of times, she made me and daddy cry tears of joy, her diaphragm was healed, She has defeated her 20% survival chance, She has daily made me smile, wow... tears flowing down an abundantly grateful momma's face right now. Thank you Jesus for an incredible 10 months of firsts of many more to come, of LIFE!

                                                  Day one... a precious long awaited meeting
Getting to hold her for the first time

her first outfit
first bottle
breathing all on her own!!
leaving the hospital one month old!
leaving Dallas and heading HOME!
in her crib for the first time!
first Thanksgiving
first Christmas
first Valentine's Day
first picnic
first baby food
learning to roll
first pony tail

first Easter
Baby Dedication at Church
First pigtails and first 2 teeth!
                                                             Learning to eat by herself!

                            Happy 10 months Ella Dawn, what an incredible 10 months it has been! :)