Today is the day the home health care nurse will come, Ella will be playing and smiling and I will be dreading the knock and the door, letting me know I am about to see my daughter in severe fear. Ella will see the nurse's face and her eyes will open wide and fill with tears as she starts saying "NO, NO, NO!" Not in a bratty tone that makes you think she needs discipline, but yet a begging me to stop this person that is about to hurt her. She looks at me and then her daddy and then back again, trying desperately to communicate that this person is going to hurt her. It's as if she thinks we don't know and she can't say the words to make us understand! She clings tightly to my arms as she tries to get closer then she already is, all the while shaking with fear. Then as I lay her down she looks at me as if I have completely betrayed her. She gets her 2 HUGE shots that burn (so we've been told) and as I pick her up to give her comfort, she immediately forgives me and lays on my shoulder and sniffs as I rock and sing gently to her, doing my best to calm her racing heartbeat and raging blood pressure. She is worn out from the severe anxiety, stress, and pain she just went through. Her heart isn't as strong as
it was supposed be we thought it would be. She doesn't have the stamina to cry like that for more then 15 minutes or so. She is hesitant to return to the living room, unsure of what may be awaiting her there. When she sees her daddy and mommy and no one else is in the house, she is sure she is safe. She resumes her playing and is in every way my hero. Please say a prayer for our Ella today around 3-4pm as she goes through this monthly appointment. Thank you.
Poor baby girl :( Miss Ella is in our prayers often... and most certainly today :)
ReplyDeleteOh my goodness. So sorry she has to go through this. Too young to understand what it is all about. I can't even imagine how horrible it is for all of you. Our daughter took allergy shots once a week and she screamed every time. Started crying when we drove up to the dr office. She was strong and healthy and it still broke our hearts. You have something worse to deal with. You don't want Ella in any stress, and that is very frightening. One of these days she will be old enough to understand what shots are all about, and maybe, just maybe that will be easier. I take it back..............it isn't easier, even when they understand what it is for. Prayers are with all of you.
ReplyDeleteOh, little Ella Sunshine, I know it just doesn't seem fair! God bless your little "half heart" and make you as whole as possible as quickly as He can.
ReplyDeleteI dreamed of you, Ella, and Baby Emma last night. Your Momma and I were in a crowd with you two girls, and were afraid you both would be sick from all the germs! Such is the story for moms and nanas of Heart Babies!
Grow strong, Precious Ella! One day you two heart sisters - you and Emma - will hold hands and run and squeal together! I see it in my heart!
Hugs!
Nana Jana
What a sad post. It made my heart hurt to read this, and I'm so sorry for you all. Just know that this is something that has to be done for her health and it'll be over before you know it. Then your little sunshine will be happy for another month. How long does she have to continue getting the shots?
ReplyDeleteWe are all anxious to hear how the shots went last post. Please update us.
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