Mother's Day / Ella turns 9 months!

So much flying through my head these last few days! Mothers day is just around the corner as well as is Ella's 9 month birthday! Also plans for for Ella's first birthday party are in full swing! Crazy isn't it?! Ella has just seemed to grow up so much in the last few days! She has OFFICIALLY...... FINALLY cut her first tooth! Although she is not crawling or pulling up yet, she (with assistance) can stand up! She is learning to stand up in her exersaucer too!! She is sooooo much fun!!!!! All day long I'm just like "this is RIDICULOUS! I love her SOOOO MUCH!!" She wakes up at night from time to time for her passy or a drink from her sippy cup, but for the most part she sleeps great! I really like it when she sleeps 12 hours solid multiple nights in a row, it makes me feel so rested! Last mothers day was my first mothers day! I was 6 months pregnant and SICK. I remember wondering if it would be the only mothers day I would get to celebrate. Here I am a year later feeling so blessed, wow, I'm a MOMMY!!!! I LOVE IT! Many times I have thoughts about what I would do if Ella was to die, wondering if I would really be able to keep going. I usually try to remind myself that God is Good, that He alone will meet all of my needs, that everything He allows He works together for good. When that answer isn't good enough for the painful thoughts, I simply say to myself, the Lord hasn't given me the grace to walk through that because He hasn't asked me to walk through that, If someday I must "walk through the valley of the shadow of death" I can't imagine, but I KNOW He will walk with me. As I felt the sting of pain even with the thought of losing her, I began to think of all the mothers that have lost a child. How very hard that must be especially on mothers day, I began to pray for all the mothers that I know who have experienced loss. I prayed for the pain they must be feeling, I prayed for peace. You see I know a lot of people who have lost children, and it breaks my heart. This situation I have found myself in has opened my eyes to so much suffering, I'm not sure if I was naive or just selfish before, but I had know idea how much suffering and loss there is in this world. I am grateful that my eyes have been opened, yet sad at the reality that is life. So to all the moms that have lost a child, this mother's day know that you are being lifted up in prayer. Everyday has such meaning when I realize all I have to live for! No life is worthless, every life makes an impact on the world. I may be home most everyday all day, I may have very limited contact with others, but I am making a difference in my husband's life and in my daughters life. I have no doubt that not one moment of caring for Ella is a waste, because I KNOW the Lord will use her in great ways! It is my honor to love and care for her. The Lord choose me to be her momma, and even though I feel so insignificant to fill my roll, I remember that He has a plan! I hope I can be half the mom to Ella that my mom has been to me, Love you Momma!!! I am really looking forward to celebrating mother's day this year, knowing that everyday is a gift and that being a mother is truly the greatest honor I have ever been given! Happy mothers day!

To my sweet sunshine,
Ella Dawn you are such a joy, you bring a whole new light to life! You are strong, you are a fighter, you are a conqueror, and I am so proud of who you are becoming! You are almost 9 months old, and although it seems like it has flown by it also feels like you have been here forever! Everyday you bring so many smiles into our home, you remind us that God is real, that miracles still happen, that prayer works! You are growing and learning, you are the best baby I have ever seen! Truly I am honored to call you my daughter. I pray you continue to grow more everyday, that your heart will keep beating strong, that you will know how very much I love you, and that you will feel God in your life. Jesus will ALWAYS be with you my Ella. Happy 9th month birthday, I love you forever like you for always
~ momma