Always Giving Thanks

With tomorrow being thanksgiving everyone's thoughts tend to lean towards things they are thankful for. Sometimes I feel like everyday is a reminder to be thankful just being with Ella and seeing her scars and her once blue lips and finger tips now pink, her future unknown. I never want to lose that perspective, because it is a gift and a beautiful way to see life.

This morning as my little sunshine was dancing with me in the living room the Christmas music playing, the fire warm and toasty, she in her bright yellow tutu, green glittery fairy wings, pink dress up gloves a size or two too big, messy hair and still in her jammies, I just felt blessed. Not because tomorrow is thanksgiving, but because it's another day with her.

Ella is doing well, she is a little more spunky then before ;) but 90% of the time she is being sweet and adorable so I guess it's fair for her to throw a few fits here and there. Honestly the few big fits she has thrown are probably small in comparison to most kids, but it seems so out of character for her that I usually have to use all my might to contain my laughter because it's so funny to see her act that way! I know I know, I shouldn't laugh, but even her fits are kind of cute hahaha. Her constant "Mom, I love you"s and "You're my best friend in the whole wide world"s and the "You're the greatest"s followed by random kisses and hugs all day, well you can see why she makes me love being her mom despite her spunky side ;)!

One of the main side effects from all of Ella's time in the hospital that we are still dealing with is her oral aversion to mixed texture foods. She can eat solids, but doesn't eat enough to make a meal and if it's a mixed texture she usually can't eat it. Up until being post Fontan we didn't push her because she needed to gain weight for her surgeries. Now that she is past the Fontan and weight gain isn't as important as before, we want to try to work more with her on eating solids and mixed textures. Last night we attempted our first try at pushing her a little bit, and it was so hard! Bless her heart, there were tears and LOTS of gagging, some small vomiting and we only got a very small amount down. This will be a slow process to avoid causing further trauma to her and we would greatly appreciate your prayers for her and us as we try to start working through this.

This last weekend we got to celebrate thanksgiving with my family for the first time since Ella was born! It was so fun to be there together,even if I was stressed out a little lot!. This is a transitioning time for us and is bringing its own set of challenges and fear. We are so very thankful that God has blessed Ella with good health so far and we know we can trust him to continue to watch out for her, we just need to learn how much to protect her, it's a balancing act and a new season. It will take time to reprogram and grow with our girl to see what her body can and can't handle. It will be a bit of trial and error and that is scary to me. I have to continue to remind myself to trust, trust that God IS in control even if things happen that I don't like. Even when Ella gets sick, even if we lose her... My ultimate fear in this journey with Ella's heart is losing her. I can't dwell on that reality, I have to cling to the hope that when we face that, we have the hope of eternal life together. Not only that, but I have to trust that God works everything together for good... even death. The responsibility of a parent to teach their child to love and accept Jesus into their hearts is heavy, but also a joy! What a privilege! Lord, may you give us wisdom to raise Ella to love and serve you with her whole heart!

This thanksgiving as you gather around the table with your loved ones I pray you have a blessed day and a thankful heart throughout the rest of the year. I pray that as you go through the days of life, of mundane, of spunky toddlers, of bills, of trial, of sickness, of loss, that you still see the joy, the love, the hope for eternal Life through Christ Jesus. Happy Thanksgiving friends, lets continue to grow together, to choose thankful hearts all year long!