Today is the day the home health care nurse will come, Ella will be playing and smiling and I will be dreading the knock and the door, letting me know I am about to see my daughter in severe fear. Ella will see the nurse's face and her eyes will open wide and fill with tears as she starts saying "NO, NO, NO!" Not in a bratty tone that makes you think she needs discipline, but yet a begging me to stop this person that is about to hurt her. She looks at me and then her daddy and then back again, trying desperately to communicate that this person is going to hurt her. It's as if she thinks we don't know and she can't say the words to make us understand! She clings tightly to my arms as she tries to get closer then she already is, all the while shaking with fear. Then as I lay her down she looks at me as if I have completely betrayed her. She gets her 2 HUGE shots that burn (so we've been told) and as I pick her up to give her comfort, she immediately forgives me and lays on my shoulder and sniffs as I rock and sing gently to her, doing my best to calm her racing heartbeat and raging blood pressure. She is worn out from the severe anxiety, stress, and pain she just went through. Her heart isn't as strong as it wassupposed be we thought it would be. She doesn't have the stamina to cry like that for more then 15 minutes or so. She is hesitant to return to the living room, unsure of what may be awaiting her there. When she sees her daddy and mommy and no one else is in the house, she is sure she is safe. She resumes her playing and is in every way my hero. Please say a prayer for our Ella today around 3-4pm as she goes through this monthly appointment. Thank you.